”My voice is necessary.”

Hey there Pilates People!

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

We are OFFICIALLY on Mindbody with our first class through their Livestream today at noon with Sean! You're signed up, right? Please DO check your booking confirmation email for our hot tips on taking class through this service and let us know if you have any questions at all!

*Important note for our video class members* - you are now part of our "Aligned Video" membership on MBO. A reminder that as of September 1, you will be receiving 2 new videos a week along with our entire video library (100+ videos and counting!) for either $35/month (month to month) or $30/month (contracted 6 month auto-pay). If you need help setting your account up for this, please don't hesitate AND be on the lookout for an email later today with a link that will lead you to the video library! 

A few announcement teasers for you all and a reminder that weekly announcements can always be found here:

• Remember our Community Board? That's still a thing and we have some people to highlight this week! (you're always welcome to request a Community post - we'll chat about you in this love note AND have you shine on the website! Don't be shy!)

  • Our very own Javi wrote an article for Dancegeist Magazine on support for freelance dance makers. We are so proud of him and think you should take a look (pssst...head to the Community Board. The link is there!)

  • Xander (yup, OUR Xander) is looking for a sublet for his absolutely STUNNING LES apartment! Again, for more information, head to the Community Board and tell everyone you know!
    

A few things that have been said to me recently:

• "Your voice and message is so clear. It sounds like you're here, talking to me and it's you...but it's in writing." 

• "I want a calendar of daily Cassandra-isms...like, I finish brushing my teeth and then get to read, 'You did it! It was hard, but you did it!' It's realistic positivity and I love it."

• "Go on, say it. I know you have a question and you're allowed to ask it. We're going to work on this."

• "You did the thing where you forgot to really tell anyone what was happening again. You made it seem casual and I think it's actually not."

• "I'm so proud of you for saying when you're done. You can do that more." 

• "If you don't ask the questions and you don't say the words, there's no way to know how much you care. And I know how much you really do care."

• "You're being weird."

All of these things are fair. Some of them made me feel wonderful, and some made me think (and overthink, and underthink, and throughthink) more than I'm sure they were meant to. 

Because I'm weird. And really, we all are (no offense), and I'm pretty proud of our weirdness. 

Because right now, the new brand of weird that I am is proof that I came out the other side of the completely unimaginable in one piece. 

And I'm super *expletive*ing proud of that. (edited that for you, Mom)

And also down a few screws, maybe...but whatever. Who needed those anyway?

(Side note, sent the above sentence to my friend to make sure the metaphor made sense and her response was, "That works. The screws were already loose so, they fell out." Yup. Facts.)

(Second side note, I know we're not "through it," yet. BUT, it is no longer unimaginable. It happened. I can imagine it now. Got through the part where I couldn't even do that...just to clarify.)

So, we're going to lean into that. We're talking about our voices this week and, well, Jenni and I got weird.

Because the truth of the matter, for me at least, is that I was never good at words. Not speaking them. Out loud. To another human. 

There was always too much for my brain to calculate in that moment - the tone of voice, the choice of words, the body language, oh wait if I'd been writing that I could've gone back and edited because that isn't what I REALLY meant but now I said it and it's not in writing so that's good but I can't take it back and now what do I do...you know? 

And you've all heard me when I get excited at this point - everything, all the words, come out all at once and form their own hybrid word that is complete and utter nonsense.

Communicating in spoken words...it's just really not my thing. Saying things out loud just makes them so...real.

Teaching has helped, A LOT. I had to practice. I had to get clear. I had to slow down and I had to recognize the moments when I got too excited and something weird came out of my mouth. Luckily, those moments didn't seem to annoy anyone that much. 

It made me human...which I so very much am.

Communicating through movement and writing though, that has always been my thing. That's where my voice is. My real voice. The one I'm comfortable with. 

What I find interesting is that while my voice, who I am at my core, is the same through and through, I do approach it completely differently between these two mediums. 

In movement, particularly as a dancer, I just let loose. It was raw and honest and open and who I was in that moment on display for everyone to see. It was the one place where I knew that whether or not anyone understood, I was saying exactly what I wanted to say exactly how I wanted to say it. And I was doing it without thinking about it.

In writing, I'm still raw and honest and open and on display, but I'm calculated. If you only knew how much time I spend staring at these letters. Writing and editing and writing and rewriting and reading and rereading and considering and adjusting punctation and verbiage...you'd tell me I was weird.

And I'd agree.

What I'm getting at here is, we want YOU to find YOUR voice this week and OWN it and own how you USE it. 

We want you to tune in to what makes you, you. And then we want you to play with how you express what that is. 

And yes, things are going to get weird. Really weird.

I kid you not when I say I lost a game of drawing straws (now you know how Jenni and I make the decisions around here) and well...buckle up, friends. If you choose to simply watch today's video class, enjoy the show and laugh at me...I wouldn't blame you. In fact, I'd suggest making some popcorn and truly digging in.

It's your Throat Chakra. 
It controls your communication, creativity, ability to listen and find your voice.
The right is to speak.
The color is blue and the element is sound.

Maybe we can kick this week off together with a little activity - right here right now.

Go back to the top of this letter and do me a favor? Say those first words in quotations.

Say them. Out loud. Make them real.

...or if scrolling is too much, here those words are again...

"My voice is necessary."

Say it again.

One more time, please.

How did that feel?

What did you notice?

Anything?

Try it again.

One more time.

It was real, right?

It was out loud?

Here for and with you, always.

You, your weirdness and your voice are completely necessary.

All our love,
Cassandra + Pilates People

(8/16/20)