Week 4 — “Thank you, Mom”

Hey Pilates People!

Happy Sunday! Who have you reached out to this week? Your family? Your friends? Your self? Are you staying connected? I hope so.

And for some weird reason, I'm compelled to ask...are you drinking enough water? I worry about you, you know?

Anyways, speaking about mothering, for those who maybe don't know, my mom started going back to school to become a nurse (her lifelong dream, first interrupted by me, then my sister, and finally my brother - I wish I was kidding) at the age of 50, a little over a year ago.

As you can imagine, she was pretty nervous about going back to school, for a lot of reasons, and was met with many more than a few offhand comments about her age - some intentionally mean and some innocently intentioned but devastating, nonetheless.

She had so many doubts and so many fears and I couldn't blame her with everything they kept saying. So many nights I'd finish teaching and come out of class to a text from her - nervous about a group project, convinced her writing wasn't good enough because it was too "old-fashioned," or certain she'd failed a test - and every time, I'd get a disappointed text the next day because she got a 97, which, as she reminded me several times, is not 100.

You see, those people making their comments didn't really know my mom and everything she's lived through. They didn't calculate the sheer determination it took for her to survive and get to where she is now. And they don't know that when she wants something, sure, she panics along the way, but I don't think I've ever witnessed a moment when she hasn't succeeded, no matter how long it takes.

In spite of all the noise from her fellow students and professors, my mom stayed in school and kept fighting. She's not a nurse yet, but about 6 months ago she took a job in a hospital as a registrar so she could learn more about what she wanted to do, while she was still in school, while she still has my 16 year old brother (at home), me and my sister (running around the world making a scene).

It was a lot. But she did it.

And this woman that everyone doubted is still doing it. All of it.

And the irony of it all is she's now also a part of saving the lives of people who just a few weeks ago may have said she was too old and this was a waste of everyone's time.

In the past couple of weeks, the late night texts I get from her are sometimes about the paper she's writing, but mostly they're about how she's grateful for the mask that's bruising her face and the food strangers are donating so she can eat on her shift and the people dropping off their loved ones in tears that she wishes she could help.

And it's breaking my heart, but I am so beyond proud of her and all the work that she, and everyone like her, is doing right now. It feels important to note that more than a handful of my family members and several more handfuls of my friends are also reporting to work in hospitals every day and I couldn't be more scared for, humbled by and thankful for each of them.

But, I decided to talk about my mom, because she really is the best example of "it's never too late," and "don't you dare give up," that I can think of.

So with that, my friends, let's move into this week with a little more care for our thoughts and words - both the between "me, myself and I" ones and all the other ones too. It's highly possible that you don't fully understand every situation or have all of the information, and that is always OKAY, but, let's try to remember that and default to kindness and support instead of judgement and negativity.

Let's do that now, and for whatever comes next.

Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay...just stay.

All my love,

C

(4/12/20)